The vending machines at the Field School are widely popular and have a plethora of both good and bad options to choose from.
By Joshua Altman
Throughout a long school day, that includes four classes, electives, breaks and after school sports, vending machines are essential to keeping students replenished and energized (at least for students who don’t bring their own snacks). However, there are lots of tantalizing options to choose from that make students unsure of what to buy. As a ninth grader describes it, “I love the vending machines, but I feel overwhelmed by all the choices.”This article will solve that problem as all of the best and worst options in the vending machines will be ranked and analyzed.
There are three vending machines in three different locations in the school. The first being the “mostly lunch products” vending machine in the receiving kitchen. Second, is the “snack” vending machine, which is located in the lunch pickup area in the meeting house. And third is the “drink” vending machine, which is directly across from the “snack” machine. Since all of these machines have different options, they cannot be compared directly. However, the products within each of them can.
Receiving vending machine rankings:
Top three best options:
- Cup Noodles: Cup noodles are an all time great snack and lunch option, that are both flavorful and filling. In addition, there are four flavors to choose from, beef, spicy chicken, normal chicken, and shrimp, so you really can’t go wrong. Although, my personal preference is the spicy chicken.
- Kraft Mac and Cheese: Like cup noodles, Kraft Mac and Cheese is an all time favorite lunch option. It is flavorful and filling, and is one of my go to selections.
- Pop-Tarts: Although not a lunch option, pop tarts are a premier snack option, which are packed with flavor and sweetness. The flavors of cinnamon brown sugar and frosted strawberry only help their cause, as those are two of the best flavors of Pop-Tarts in general.
Top three worst options:
- Tuna “snack on the run”: This option is so bad that it has no business even calling itself a snack. According to a 9th grader the “snack” is “soggy, flavorless and messy. You would be better off burning your money than buying it.”
- Boyardee beef ravioli: Since this option is always available in the machine and no students were able to be asked about the lunch product, I can conclude that it is most likely repugnant, and has no business being in a machine.
- Maple and Brown Sugar oatmeal: Like the ravioli, this option is always fully loaded in the machine, and has no buyers. And I didn’t want to be its first victim, so based on it’s popularity, I can conclude that it is very subpar.
Meeting house “snack” vending machine rankings:
Top three best options:
- Rice Krispy Treats: These treats always sell out quickly upon restock, and with their delectability are the best snack option in this vending machine.
- Chex Mix: Although a controversial choice, I firmly believe that chex mix is an amazing snack choice that packs a big punch of savoriness and saltiness in a big bag.
- Cheez-Its: These square cubes of cheesiness and flavor have been popular since the creation of snacks, and are a very reliable choice.
Top three worst options:
- Power Crunch Bars: After a long soccer game I was very hungry and these bars were one of the only options left in the machine, so I gave them a try. I cannot say enough about how horrible the aftertaste was. It was as if I had eaten paint and then let it dry on my tongue. For your own sake, please do not buy these.
- Vegan Chocolate chip cookie: A chocolate chip cookie seems great and harmless, however with a vegan spin, it took a dark turn. According to one student, the cookie “tastes more processed than McDonalds chicken nuggets”. And I think that review is enough for anyone to avoid buying this cookie entirely.
- Pop corners “white cheddar”: Although these chips aren’t terrible, they just aren’t as good as any of the other options in their machine. They have some flavor, but their weird shape gives them an awkward crunchiness. And the white cheddar tastes pretty bland.
Meeting house “drink” vending machine rankings:
Top three best options:
- Glacier Cherry Gatorade: Placing the glacier cherry over other Gatorade flavors was by far the hardest decision I had to make in the article. The red gatorade is also delicious. However, due to the fact that the white gatorade always sells out the fastest, and that cherry is one of my favorite artificial flavors, I had to give it the edge over the other flavor.
- Red Gatorade: As mentioned previously, the red gatorade is delicious, sells out pretty fast, and is edged out by the glacier cherry gatorade just slightly. So it rightfully earns the number two spot.
- Red Vitamin Water: This is an unusual choice because most people would put another Gatorade or Powerade flavor in this position, but the red vitamin water has a very sweet and complex taste, which is very different from Gatorade or Powerade.
Top three worst options:
- Dasani water: Dasani water is notorious for tasting horrible. In addition, there are millions of internet memes about the terribleness of Dasani products, so it would only be right for Dasani to be first on this list.
- Watermelon flavored water: I don’t think I’ve seen even one of these being purchased, and for good reason. Who in their right mind would want to spend $1.50 on this, when you can go fill up your water bottle, and spare yourself from its awkward taste.
- Sparkling water: I know that there are some people who love sparkling water, but if you are going to spend $1.50 on a drink, at least get a La Croix or something with flavor. Or you might as well just spend your money on something else.
Overall, vending machines afford us with a plethora of both amazing and horrible options to replenish our hunger and thirst. And we should all be very thankful to the school administration for providing us with these life savers which most schools do not have. Thus, it is paramount that we take advantage of the machines, spend our money wisely, and avoid Dasani.