I VANT TO DRINK YOUR BLOOOOOOOD

Your favorite Joker lands another method acting hit!

(ed note: the writer of this article has not yet seen the film being reviewed here. This is a work of satirical brilliance)

By Patrick Pané

Morbius, a movie that has been rife with controversy, has made a large impact on filmmaking. Just like how The Godfather changed cinema as a whole. It is no secret that Jared Leto is a star. His previous showings on monumental films such as American Psycho, Blade Runner 2049, Suicide squad, Tron 3 (rumored), House of Gucci and who could forget his evocative and properly flamboyant tenure as the Joker in both Suicide squad and the gamechanging Skrillex and Rick Ross: Purple Lamborghini. Jared Leto is known for his dedication to acting, even going so far as to give Margot Robbie a dead rat and showing other actors a bullet ridden pig(talk about dedication to the craft!). Jared Leto hasn’t shown any signs of slowing down with his respect for the art that is acting– he continued this trend with Morbius. Jared Leto decided that in order to truly understand Michael Morbius’ condition he too would walk with a cane or crutches. Even going so far as to emulate his character’s condition by taking 45 minute bathroom breaks. The fact that Mr. Leto went this far shows how passionate he was about Morbius and I wouldn’t be surprised if this passion was shared with everyone involved in making Dr. Michael Morbius.

Now I have talked a lot about Jared Leto but now it’s time to talk about the man himself… Michael Morbius. Dr. Michael is a down-on-his-luck doctor who has a rare disease meaning that he can’t walk well (Notice how seamlessly Jared Leto’s choice for method acting allows him to get immersed in the role!). Michael’s friend has this disease as well and he is played by the illustrious Matt Smith who all you Brits will recognize as the 11th Doctor Who. Michael, in order to cure this horrible disease, becomes a vampire.

Mr. Dr. Morbius’ main conflict arises with this disease as well as with his former friend. The fascinating dichotomy between the natural(the disease) and the unnatural(the vampirism) are emblematic of the deeper meaning of Morbius and show the understanding that Daniel Espinoza has of cinema. Mr. Morbius’ friend Milo is a character that while antagonistic you can sympathize with. He had a disease and instead of deciding to die he decided to become a vampire just like Morbius. 

This is the dastardly and devious Milo, played by Matt Smith! lookin’ good, Matt! #Morbiusweep

The issues come when Milo is unable to resist his animalistic urges which are symptoms of the vampirism and he begins to go on a killing spree. Mr. Morbius, ever noble, is able to go against these baser instincts and find a deeper understanding of himself with his disease. Sure, Dr. Morbius, Ph D, goes through a series of trials and tribulations but unlike Milo he is able to resist the darker urges and become a better man for it.

You may not recognize him but that’s Jared Leto himself! 

Something great from Morbius that I think everyone knew would be good is the CGI. In a return to 2000’s filmmaking, Espinoza has decided to bring slo-mo back from the dead. Some might say this is too old of a form but I think this is a great rehashing of an old concept, just like the movie itself. 

For those that don’t know, and this might be a surprise with its high quality, Morbius was originally a comic book. Yeah I know what you are all thinking. “But all comic book movies are tacky and low quality. There is nothing of substance in them.” and normally I would agree. But just like in Tron Legacy, the game has changed. Martin Scorcese, famed comic book movie hater has something to say about this “I was aghast to find out it was based on a comic book. This is the truest height of cinema and even I cannot top it. A wise man admits when he is wrong and I was wrong. I apologize to all comic book movies” I mean this just shows how many barriers that Morbius has broken. (ed: Sorry Marty)

If Morbius is a sign of things to come in the Sony Pictures Marvel franchise then I believe it may have already been able to breach the heights of the Andrew Garfield Spider Man series which is no mean feat. Morbius is an experience that I would recommend you to go to, nay beg you to go to. You don’t want to miss out on this one as you get to see the physical and spiritual journey of Mr. Michael. A masterpiece like Morbius comes only once in a lifetime. Therefore, it is important to recognize its inspirations, The Boss Baby (Rip Alec Baldwin) Crawled so that Morbius could jog.

Morbius is a 10 out of 10 and I would certainly count myself among the Morbie’s. #Morbiusweep #JaredLetoArmy #MorbiusMovie #GetThemFries

This was the face I was making after I watched Morbius!